Your lifecoach, therapist, or psychic doesn’t know what’s best for you

It’s tantalizing to believe that we can entrust our direction to the bulletproof advice from a wise helper. Decisions can be quite hard, especially when we are ambivalent about our options. It can feel like a tremendous burden to choose from amongst many positive options, or conversely, to find a least worst path. But taking responsibility for your choices is not how a healer of any stripe best serves you. If a go-between becomes your source for your information, then a dependence is created. An empowering healer will help you to better do this for yourself, by helping to get you more present.

Giving up our highest information to another other person means surrendering a portion of your free will. Depending on what they have advised, this can result in dire consequences. Even though they are tuned-in, smart, and capable, they are not you, and they do not know the future.

The truth of the matter is that no matter where we’re at in our personal evolution, we are the highest arbiter of what’s right for us. Even if we can’t see the other end of the tunnel. The future is not written. Nobody else knows exactly what it’s like to think with your mind, feel with your body, or walk in your shoes better than you. Even if you’re stumbling, better to stumble towards your own version of poise than to trample your path with someone else’s brilliant steps. If we love the way that someone has modeled those steps for us, we still need to make it our own.

If we fail to own our decisions, mistakes will sometimes ensue – just as they will if we are making our own choices. The difference is that if we delegate this power, we’re sure to amplify a sea of doubt, superstition, and blame – wondering why we listened to this person or that piece of advice. The real question is why we didn’t listen to our self.

The point is not to shut out those who might have helpful perceptions about how we can get out of our own way and heal: The wise people in our lives can undoubtedly provide us maps to the shortcuts towards our goals. It’s that we must use discernment to not allow any well meant advice to usurp our own knowingness – because the gift and responsibility of choice will always remain within ourself, and rightly so. It all boils down to the gift and challenge of having, using, and owning our free will with full agency. 

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